December 30, 2012

Basketball Writing at The Northwestern Chronicle

I wrote about Northwestern University Men's Basketball for The Chronicle. Here are links and synopses to my columns:

I describe the chaos of last year's Big Ten Tournament and some inside details of my dating life, leading into this season when NU slips by Mississippi Valley State, and I make a series of videos that explain how to pronounce our players' names (incorrectly).

A series of meaningless non-conference games leave me wondering what's the meaning of it all.

Northwestern suffers a disappointing loss to Maryland, and I express my feelings by producing a fake highlights video.

Three very different games have very different results, and I produce the most pointlessly erudite and impenetrably academic piece of sportswriting since George Will's heyday.

The Wildcats lose their two best players, leaving freshman center Alex Olah as arguably the team's most important player.

Here's where the columns start being actually entertaining and good:

Let’s Play “Knockout”: 5 Tips To Fighting At Basketball Games
As the Wildcats' season starts to turn sour, I turn away from hard-hitting insightful basketball analysis to do some barely-related-to-basketball satirical writing. This post, for instance, was a guide to beating people up at basketball games.


Ten True Facts I Mostly Made Up That Explain NU's Turnaround
The season briefly seems to get better and my writing briefly seems to get worse.


NU Basketball Columnist Petitions To Transfer
In response to a developing campus journalism brouhaha over rowdy crowds, I write a lot of words about my growing exasperation with the outrage culture at Northwestern.


Hightower Officiating Through The Ages
Northwestern gets screwed by notorious Big Ten ref Ed Hightower, and I retaliate with a dumb history joke listicle.


I'm Tired of Losing to the Worst State
NU loses to the Buckeyes and I let everyone know about South Carolina's secret, bizarre rivalry with Ohio and Ohioans.


Last Call for College Ball 
I talk about the Northwestern-Illinois rivalry and why our students don't care and theirs do, then I talk about why basketball student sections make me feel alive.


Carmody Out After Ninth Straight Loss Comes at United Center
A frustrated basketball columnist travels to the conference tournament on his own dime and phones in an uninteresting column.