December 2, 2010

Tim Heidecker and Neil Hamburger on Yogi Bear

Tim Heidecker (of Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job) and Neil Hamburger (of... I dunno what I'd single out exactly) had a pretty epic Twitter battle tonight, trading insults about the new awful "Yogi Bear" movie. Here's their material copied into one convenient location.

Tim's Jokes:

  • Thinking about taking a can of poison to the premiere of
  • : 9hours long. Not in English. Dan Akroyd came on intern's face during vo recording.
  • AP reporting Movie contains subliminal messages encouraging children to commit suicide!
  • UN ordering siezure of all film prints to prevent world war.
  • AP: Dan Aykroyd has jumped off empire state building in fulfillment of old wager with Garrett Morris regarding voicing of
  • CNN reports: Justin Timberlake found dead in hotel room after seeing first commercials for movie -
  • Someone help me close Golden Gate Bridge on 12/16 movie opening will lead to so many unnecessary jumps.
  • AMC theaters announcement tomorrow: suicide prevention hotline number WILL appear on screen during entire movie
  • Long John Silvers stunner: "although we are aware that this means losing thousands of dollars a week, we will now refuse to serve dan aykroyd after hearing his embarrassing and disrespectful impersonation of #yogibear
  • Inside source: @ soon to be delivering @ 's eulogy. Mostly quoting "funny lines" from movie.
  • Papal meeting under way to determine if attending screening of is venal or mortal sin.
  • Osama Bin laden revealed as exec producer of movie
  • AMC theaters now say: we may refuse to screen movie. Understaffed for mass disposal of dead bodies and human waste.
  • Why is @ offering free temporary swastika tattoos with purchase of kids value meal?
  • Surgeon General reveals movie part of plan to instantly relieve children of constipation.
  • FCC: Moviefone announcements of movie times will be deemed acts of terrorism.
  • Reuters: World leaders meeting in Scotland to discuss ramifications of international release ?
  • CNN: Warner Bros. sending cases of Rolaids to nation's movie theater managers. movie
  • Volunteers already scrubbing names off of Vietnam Memorial to replace with poor souls who worked on & attended screening of movie
  • BREAKING: first film to be sentenced to death by the international court. @ -
  • AP: North Korea now pointing all missiles at 12:30 screening of movie in Sherman Oaks
  • New York Times: Former Yankee great Yogi Berra flees country fearing violence as release looms.
  • Sundance Film Festival to honor all films who weren't films that were film this year.
  • poll: would you rather watch Patch Adams every day for the rest of your life or get within ten miles of a screening of movie?
  • when will @ donate salary to orphans for sickening participation in potential world ending film?
  • poor sound engineers on had to figure out way to filter out constant harmonica playing during recording of "rich little bad" VO
  • Breaking: Obama denounces as "prime enemy" and "a sickness which drapes like a blanket over our nation"
  • MPAA encourages Warner Brothers to change rating from PG to: SFDO: Suitable For Dogs Only
  • WHO to give away record amounts of Theraflu to help American Children sleep through the great approaching nightmare
Neil's Jokes:

  • Dan Aykroyd, you prick pig, how dare you attack our great nation with anthrax! (Yogi Bear)
  • Justin "Complete Zero" Timberlake, you are the worst "Boo Boo" in World History!
  • Laurence Olivier & Humphrey Bogart=the original and BEST Yogi + Boo Boo!
  • Hey there, it's Yogi Bear! (Stealing bowel movements from the Beverly Hilton and eating them.)
  • Justin Timberlake drew on his experience as a human urinal for his portrayal of beloved Boo Boo.
  • Tom Bosley's dying final words: "Please don't let Aykroyd voice Yogi Bear." Died 1 min later.
  • Timberlake and Aykroyd reportedly "double penetrated circus bear" on night off. (CNN)
  • Super 8 Motel stocks go up 268% after chain vows "never to program Yogi Bear on in-room pay channel".
  • Cleaning up the tears of a cancer-stricken child whose world was shattered after seeing the Yogi Bear preview...then back w/more commentary!
  • Have fun on Xanax! RT:@ You're boring me. I hate Axe & the Yogi movie too. But you're not going to get this garbage to go away.
  • Gene Siskel to return from dead with one-off, half-star film review of "Yogi Bear".
  • Pro-Yogi Bear tweets funded by French's Mustard as part of "Picnic with Yogi" promotion.
  • Patch Adams and Yogi Bear to team up to teach children the value of drinking ammonia-based cleansers.
  • ALL MY SHOWS FOR REST OF YEAR CANCELLED!!!!! Reason: Yogi Bear-induced depression.
  • So sad to see Dan Aykroyd sink so low...I have admired him since seeing his groundbreaking work in Britney Spears' "Crossroads" movie.
  • Dan Aykroyd: Just purchased 10 urinals with your likeness on them to donate to L.A. Homeless Toilet Project.
  • If John Belushi had lived...Aykroyd would have denied him admittance at Hollywood YOGI BEAR premiere.
  • Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden "picnic baskets" to drug-addicted Oscar voters.
  • "Yogi Bear" hit director reveals that "if they had lived" Yogi and Boo Boo would have been voiced by Jim Morrison and Jerry Garcia.
  • Please pray for "Yogi Bear" actors whose shame and self-disgust is crippling all aspects of their personal lives.
  • Hey @, what's your fucking problem, bud? Why ain't you tweeting anti-Yogi Bear stuff 24/7????
  • "Yogi Bear" becomes first film to be banned in Poland since "Hitler's Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also" was banned from theaters in 1967.
  • Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake's feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film.
  • Helen Keller's grandchildren hold press conference "thanking God" that deaf/blind are unable to view new "Yogi Bear" movie.
  • Myanmar becomes first nation to sentence in absentia Aykroyd and Timberlake to death for crimes against humanity. (Malaysia to follow.)
  • BEHIND THE SCENES OF HIT MOVIE: Aykroyd and Timberlake laugh over "accidental" fecal-sex during recording of Yogi Bear voices.
  • Cost to view new Yogi Bear movie: $12. Cost to read anti-Yogi Bear tweets: $0.00.
  • George W. Bush in "Decision Points": "Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency".
  • Glenn Danzig to reunite with Misfits to urinate on cast and crew of new "Yogi Bear" movie in Hollywood December 16.
  • AP headline: "Were YOGI BEAR Actors Unwittingly Given Experimental Mind Control Drug?"
  • (CNN): "Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes"
  • (CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.
  • NADW (National Association of Dunce Writers) defends "Yogi Bear" screenwriters in front of angry mob of disgusted third-graders.